For those of you that don't know; less than a month ago i graduated from The Savannah College of Art and Design with a Bachelors in Fine Art Photography! I spent my last few days in Savannah with friends and family celebrating my accomplishment, showing them around the city, visiting the beach one last time, packing up everything i had accumulated over the past two years (which was more than you think), and finally moving me half way across the country. I moved into a house with two other friends in downtown Oklahoma City and am slowly getting settled in to this new life. In this blog post i'm going to cover a lot! From the emotional rollercoaster it is to graduate college, move, and start your life over; to how i feel now and the plans i have for this website, this blog, and my career. So, buckle your seatbelts... you're in for a bumpy ride.
Lets take it from the top: Graduating
I'm sure many of you can relate- graduating is effing scary! I was in college for a total of five years and for four of those years all i wanted was to graduate and be done with school forever. I was so tired of being stuck in a city for an extended period of time. So tired of having assignments that didn't interest me, didn't motivate me, didn't push me to think outside the box. I was also so creatively exhausted in having to give 100% all the time and never having room to fail, or to experiment, because it meant i would be risking a bad grade or not completing an assignment on time. Then i started my fifth and final year of college and everything changed. I was in classes i loved, with amazingly talented and motivating professors, and doing things i never thought i could do! Not to be overly dramatic or anything but... the last 6 months of college changed my life. I was transitioning from dreaming about my future, to changing what i wanted to do with my career, to actually setting things in motion to get to where i want to go. It must have been a mixture of finally feeling settled in a place and the anxiety of the unknown, but all i wanted to do was hit the breaks. STOP. FREEZE TIME. HOLD THE PHONE. I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE. .. What the heck? All that time i was wishing to be done and i was missing all of the blessings that came along with being a student. I'm a pretty laid back easy going person, but the structure of school is something i crave now that i don't have it. Sounds crazy, but i miss the schedules, the early mornings, the crazy busy days, and the set vacations. I also like to think of myself as a free spirit; i don't call any place home and if i stay in one place too long i get anxious and depressed. All i want to do is travel and explore, and the thought of settling down right now makes my skin crawl. I don't want to get comfortable. I don't want to feel stuck. But with all that being said... i really didn't want to leave Savannah. Sure, there were things i hated about it, but i had made a life there that i wasn't ready to leave yet. I had made friends that became family, routines that i enjoyed, co-workers that made me look forward to working, local coffee shops and restaurants that i became a regular to, and i finally knew the ins and out of a city- which is something i never had before. Not to mention i was finally making art that i was proud of! I cried for weeks leading up to my departure, and weeks after i was gone. It was devastating in ways that i never thought would affect me so deeply. Not only did i lose the constant of school, and the amenities that came along with that, but i lost everything that was comfortable to me. (Yes, i know i just said i didn't want to get comfortable but being forced out of your comfort zone is rough, okay?) I lost my friends, my professors, my co-workers, my jobs, my apartment, my routines.. everything. I was forced to start over. Luckily i'm starting over in a city that i've lived in before and with my best friend by my side, but it's still pretty freakin scary to look at a calender and not have anything written down. No plans. No jobs. Nothing!
That brings us to now: Post-Grad Life
Starting from scratch. I've spent the last four weeks doing a lot of thinking, and at times a lot of avoiding my thoughts. I've slowly but surely unpacked my room and am starting to add in little touches to make it feel more like home. I've spent my weekends visiting family and friends in states nearby trying to make up for the past two years of lost time. I'm finally finding peace in the quiet moments and the relaxed days because i know i deserve it. I do struggle daily with thoughts that maybe i'm not doing enough. I look at other people in my field that are my age or younger and i think that i should be working harder than them if i want that to be my life. I need to be hustling. I need to be pushing myself day in and day out. Which is true.. but it isn't my reality. I work at my own pace and i will have success in my own time. I know i need to work for it, i know i need to hustle, i know i need to push, i know that it's never going to be handed to me, but i also know that i will make it happen in my own time. So, i'm starting from scratch in a lot of ways. Not only am i in a new city with no job and no clients, i'm also in the process of re-doing my website and my business model. What i do have though... is PLANS!
So, here is what is going to happen: Future Plans
First and foremost i want to travel! That's number one and will always be number one. But i also have found this new love for hand crafting an image or a substrate to print an image onto. My love for hand crafting isn't new, but i didn't ever think it would be possible to integrate photography in with that, and now that i know i can it's really inspired me to create new art not only behind the lens, but also creating precious objects. I love merging my travel photography with a hand crafted substrates (which you can check out in the Fine Art portion of my portfolio) and i plan to keep doing that for the unforseeable future. I also have plans to start working on my wedding photography and portrait portfolio! (So, if any of you are in need of family, engagement, couple, or wedding photos lets talk :) I'm in the works of getting into styled shoots and mentorships so that i can slowly work my way into that field and learn as much as possible, but i'm super excited about playing around and growing with that side of my work. As for the future of this blog: I am going to start posting on here weekly. These post will include the projects i'm working on, any life updates i may have, sneak peaks or behind the scenes of photo shoots i'm doing, and any travel/day in the life stuff. Maybe i'll make a youtube channel? I don't know! The possibilities are endless! I hope you guys stick around for my weird growing pain period and i thank you in advance for all the love and support that i've already received!